Alexandra’s story

Alexandra had just started a Foundation Year course at the University of Hull when she did a one-day Grit workshop. A mature student and parent, she was commuting 2 hours each way into university.

Even though I’d been living in the UK for a number of years I was still struggling with communication, thinking in Romanian, turning it into English, then turning the replies back into Romanian. I couldn’t make every class so it was difficult to properly get to know many other students – I wasn’t feeling very connected to the university.

Then there was the huge change taking place in my life. Up ‘til now I’d been looking after my daughter and working to pay this bills. Even though I was so excited and happy to be at university, when I added in all the studying and the classes, I was in a bit of a state.

At first in the workshop no-one wanted to speak. The trainers were great, just fantastic – they made everyone feel comfortable. They dragged us out of our shells and by the end of the day everyone had opened up, everyone had engaged.

It gave me the confidence to chat, to express myself, in class and outside class. Now I don’t worry when I make a mistake. I let it go. I’ve learned how to break the ice, not to overthink it, just say what I have to say. I made some amazing friends, friends I talk to as if we’ve known each other for ten years. And I’ve connected with tutors and supervisors. I reach out for support when I need to.

Other students in the workshop talked about feeling lonely, anxious, about being afraid to speak in public. I saw I wasn’t the only one, that I wasn’t by myself. As a group we became determined to support each other, inspired go forward instead of holding ourselves back.

Grit opened my eyes, changed my state of mind. I started to see myself as someone who really matters, not just an anonymous part of workforce. I started to see myself as more than simply a mum. I started to see myself as a somebody, that people were interested in getting to know the real me. Grit helped to get to that place, made it feel easier to take on everything at university, made it possible to take the huge opportunities there are at university. I got a real sense of a purpose.

It's strange, but now I feel like I’ve got more time than I had before, even though I’ve got so much more to do. I value what I’m doing now, much more than before. Grit helped me think about how I plan, how I prioritise in each stage of each day: taking my daughter to school, being with my husband, going to work, as well as doing all the studying. For example, I quit social media. It’s not helpful with anything, it’s not what I care about.

Grit was a turning point.  I got the issue of my English out of the way. I can really get on with being at university. I feel supported in a way that I haven’t felt before. And, academically, I’m getting on great!