Kirandip’s Story

Kirandip is the CAMHS (Child Adolescent Mental Health Services) Service Manager at Nottingham City Council.  She took part in a Grit programme for senior leaders.

II’ve always tended to be a people pleaser. I adapted so that I ‘fitted in.’ I’d mould myself around other people. But in the Grit workshop I saw that, so often, this meant compromising, not being my true authentic self. I didn’t want to rock the boat, so I kept a lot of those feelings hidden.

There were those nagging feelings about not being good enough, questioning whether I truly deserved to be where I was - feelings reinforced by my experience as a British Indian woman working within a predominantly white environment. I felt I had to work harder, and I could see the same thing in colleagues around me too. I had to push and challenge to get into leadership, and even then I still questioned whether I really deserved to be a Service Manager, especially when I had never seen anyone who looked like me in that kind of role.

But this mindset only takes you so far. You can’t carry that level of doubt and still lead in the way people need you to.

Grit gave me real clarity about who I am, both at work and at heart. It gave me clarity about who I am as a woman of colour, strengthened my belief in myself. It empowered me, made me proud of being me and the experience, resilience and perspective I bring to the table as a leader. It enabled me to break out of the protective bubble I had built around myself. I realised I had to own my power to make myself seen and heard, stop holding back just to make other people feel more comfortable. I feel more grounded and assured in both myself and my leadership. I trust my judgement more, speak with greater confidence and lead with much more authenticity, without feeling the need to shrink myself or seek constant validation.

Every day can still be a challenge, but as a leader people need to feel confidence in me. Now that I’m confident in my own authenticity, more confident as a leader, other people can feel that too. And Grit helps me stay grounded when I’m faced with people who struggle to accept me in a leadership role. I can separate my self-worth from how others respond to me in leadership spaces.

When I’m having difficult conversations, I’m able to speak more honestly and confidently. I’m much more intentional now. I pause, I take a breath, and I respond with more clarity, purpose and composure. I will always support people, but I also hold them to account for their actions and words, even when that brings consequences.

I have learned that I can support people through discomfort without taking responsibility for managing their emotions or avoiding necessary conversations in order to keep others comfortable.

Now I feel like I’m really owning the role I have. It’s no longer about not being good enough. I’m intentional in what I say and how I act, and I lead with commitment: to the children and young people we support, to my colleagues and to the responsibilities of my role. Grit made me stop limiting my own thinking. And it has made me more determined to support the people in my team not to be limited by their thinking either. I can separate my judgement from what I’m committed to, and I start to lead with both high challenge and high support.

I no longer feel the need to shrink myself, over-explain or seek permission to take up space as a leader. Grit helped me understand that leadership is not about fitting into someone else’s idea of what a leader should look like. It is about leading in a way that is grounded in your values, your integrity and your commitment to others.