Sharleens’s story

Sharleen was in year 11 at a school in Warwickshire when she did a Grit programme.

Grit is all about taking a leap. At times it’s really difficult. At first I didn’t want to do it at all but I carried on because I could see it was the right thing for me.

I knew that if I carried on the way I was it was not going to end well. I was always getting into fights. I did whatever I wanted without thinking about the consequences. I was horrible to the teachers and to other students - people got on my nerves a lot, all the time. Sometimes I got kicked out of lessons. So when I started Grit I had a very clear goal: to be less angry.

My coach was really nice but it was still quite rocky to start with. She kept asking me what I wanted from the coaching but I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t see how it could help. But what made all the difference was having someone to talk to who wasn’t from school, wasn’t one of my friends or from my family. And that I could say stop when I wanted to. I was in control.

I really appreciated her directness. When I told her that I wanted to succeed in life she said “you’re not going to if you carry on like this.” I heard things from her that I hadn’t heard when the teachers said them.

We started doing strengths and weaknesses quizzes. I hadn’t realised that my honesty, that me telling people exactly how it is, no matter what, was a strength. And we talked about my weaknesses: not being kind.

My coach helped me put myself in other people’s shoes. When I told her about some of the things I’d said to my friends she said, “Imagine if your Mum had said THAT to you.” It helped me understand how I made other people feel. She called it empathy.

She encouraged me, gave me the confidence to put myself forward to the Head Student election. Before Grit there was no way I would have done that.

After the coaching I did the five day intensive workshop. At first I was so bored, I wanted to go home. But then the trainer said, “Things are the way you make them.” When I went home that night I thought “that is just so true.” It hit home. From that moment on I started to enjoy the workshop. I even stood up and told my story – I felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable, but I did it. 

I’ve achieved my goal: I don’t get angry anymore. I get irritated, I get annoyed but it’s all under control. When a teacher triggers something in me I deal with it, move past it. So I’m enjoying school now. I’m much more positive, much more focused and, you’re not going to believe this, I was elected Head Student!

Grit gave someone who believed in me, someone who believed I could change, someone who helped me focus on the positives instead of the negatives. So, when I look back on how far I’ve come I’m still surprised at myself. It’s unbelievable!